Geschichten aus meine Leben
My Inside Out Journey starts…
One month after tattooing Inside Out onto my foot I was pregnant. There was this little something growing INSIDE of me. And I knew things would change.
I was 23. And a lot of people around me voiced their fears: I am too young, I will not manage, I will not finish University, our flat is too small for raising a child. Also there was our dog on the way from Nepal to us and a lot of other reasons why me having this child was not a good idea. But it was not an idea. It was a fact. It was reality. Inside I knew these are not my fears and truths.
This tiny human being growing inside of me was the best thing that could have ever happened to me! She is perfection. This child was my Kickstarter for living my inside out. My inner voice grew louder. Inside I started to stand up for myself. On the outside I did not yet. Only occasionally when it was not for myself but for my child I started raising my voice and stating my opinion. Something I would have tried to avoid before. But now I had to. As I did have this little being inside of me. It was not only about me anymore.
Hiding myself, making myself small. Yes that was okay before. But imagining her living this way. Growing up like this. No. Never ever. I want her to be who she truly is. I do not want her to act differently in front of me to make me happy. So I started in tiny steps to speak up. For HER. And for the vision I had of this world I wanted her to grow up in. Where children matter. Where they are equal. Where they are perfect the way they are. Where it's OK to be you. Where your inside is valued on the outside and there must be no fear of showing it.
So I decided I myself would be a space where she can just be herself inside out. And now I do also hold this space for YOU.